Ten years later...
Clavis leaned on his elbows and repressed another sigh. What on earth had possessed him to unlock the desk drawer and take out that box? All it was ever good for was to bring back bitter memories. He looked at the small purple cardboard box in front him and snorted in contempt of himself. Well, it served him right for keeping it in the first place, he thought. In spite of himself, he reached out to open the box. There it lay, on a little purple velvet cushion, gleaming in the dim light of the room. A pendant, a gift from her during the last examination. It had been so long since he had last set eyes on it. He picked the pendant up and held it in the palm of his hand, dispassionately examining it to reinforce the memory of its features. The pendant was round and about the size of a pocket watch, perhaps a little smaller. At the center was a marble sized hemisphere of some polished black stone amid a silvery setting engraved to create the appearance of a halo of rays. The rest was painted with a black enamel and dotted with a few tiny zircon “stars” to complete the illusion of an eclipse. In short, it was a piece of imitation jewelry.
He could not help but think back to the day he had received the gift. “I saw it and couldn’t help myself. It just reminded me of you,” she had said, smiling brightly as she handed him the small box. Such a simple gift and like a fool, he had been so pleased to receive it. Back then, he had been completely captivated by her gentle radiance, so like and yet unlike Julious’ harsh glare. He wanted nothing more than to gather that bit of light to himself and have it shine for him forever. Perhaps someday it might have ignited a similar spark in his soul and he would have finally obtained his own longed for light. But one such as he, cursed from birth to serve as a vessel for the Sacrea of Dark, was not meant for such hopes, it seemed. When the rejection came, as he realized now had been inevitable, he put the blame on Julious’ interference, but his heart knew that he had only been pursuing a pale imitation of love. Which led him back to the oft asked question over the years, if she could not love him, what hope was there that....
“Clavis!”
The unpleasantly familiar voice started him from his reverie. He looked up as Julious stormed angrily into his office.
“Is there something I can do for you, Julious?” he asked, remaining as passive as always.
Julious slammed his hand on the desk as he leaned intimidatingly toward Clavis.
“Are you making light of me, Clavis!?”
For a moment Clavis was tempted to answer yes, just to see what would happen. But in all honesty, he had no idea what he had done this time to make Julious angry. Perhaps this was just one of those days where he couldn’t win. Now his speaking irked him, now his silence. Sometimes he felt it was his very existence which bothered Julious the most.
“Forgive me, Julious, I did not mean to offend you.”
“Just as you did not mean to offend Dia when you skipped her luncheon?” Julious asked, backing off a little.
Had he been wallowing in memories for that long? Clavis felt a twinge of guilt. Dia always did her best to see that he felt comfortable and welcome at those meetings, even as Julious did the opposite. Later he would have to go apologize to her personally.
“How could you show such disrespect!? As a veteran Guardian it is your responsibility to set an example for the others! Well? Have you nothing to say for yourself?”
Clavis turned casually away from the harsh gaze to put the pendant back in its box. “I forgot,” he said simply.
“You forgot!? Do you expect...” Julious broke off as he noticed what Clavis was holding.
At the sudden silence from Julious, Clavis looked up. All the color had drained from Julious’ face and his expression was one of terror as he stared at the pendant in the box.
“What is the meaning of this!?” Julious demanded, tearing his eyes away to meet those of Clavis.
Clavis was stunned. In all the twenty years he had known Julious, never once had he seen such a look of fear on his face. What could possibly have caused that reaction?
“Julious, what is wrong?” Clavis asked, letting his concern seep into his voice and features.
Clavis followed Julious’ gaze as it fell back on the box.
“It is merely an ordinary pendant, nothing to be feared,” Clavis tried to reassure him, but Julious seemed insensible, all of his attention fixed on the pendant.
“No! Never! Never! I swear never to let it happen!” Julious muttered to himself shaking his head furiously.
Confused and growing increasingly worried, Clavis stood up and reached to give Julious’ arm a firm shake to snap him out of it.
“This is not like you, Julious. Are you alright?”
Julious’ head snapped back up and he finally registered the insistent pressure of Clavis’ hand on his arm.
“Stay away from me!” Julious cried, as he forcefully swept Clavis’ hand away, accidentally knocking the box with the pendant off the desk.
Clavis watched in dismay as the pendant flew through the air only to hit the dark polished tiles of the floor with a resounding crack. The jolt knocked the black stone loose from its setting and chipped some of the enamel. Forgetting Julious for a moment, Clavis knelt to gather the pieces and set them carefully back into the cushioned box. By the time he stood up again, Julious was gone.
Looking at the ruined pendant in his hands, Clavis frowned slightly. It was not worth repairing, no longer worth keeping. He would finally do as he should have done long ago. After all, it had never been of any use to him. As he dumped the trinket unceremoniously into the waste basket under his desk, Clavis’ features resumed their usual cold expression, eyes seemingly empty to all but those who knew how to find the pain there.
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